Pregnancy Journey

Conception

I was full of oxytocin and happened to feel very sexy and loved during a time of stress.

Dan and I weren’t trying to have a baby but weren’t not trying… the well-timed deed was the only one in need.

Mentality Around Having a Child

Dan and I never had a burning need to make a family, but we both agreed we may regret not having a child. I wouldn’t recommend this ‘what if I regret it’ form of decision making or way of reflecting on one’s life, but it was a factor for us.

I saw myself with big grandma energy. When I would visualise the future, I was cooking for an adult daughter and child. I think seeing Dan’s grandma as a beautiful matriarch made me want the same for myself.

There seemed to be no better time for us to have a baby. For years I kept wanting one more year to see a year-group through, but it became clear that I would never feel ready anyway.

Pregnancy signs

I had spotting a day or so after conception. I thought I got my period but then it disappeared and I was only a little suss.

I had a touch of nausea on the day I was set to babysit my sister’s kids. That day I went for a walk with Dan and Olly at Simmo’s beach and it seemed to pass. Interestingly, that night babysitting, I had my first experience of making a cup of tea and never finishing it (with 2 kids under 3 in the house!).

My first at-home test was positive. I woke Dan at 8.30am to tell him (would never wake him at this time otherwise!), but I think I messaged my mum and sister first like ‘huh?’.

First trimester

I had all-day morning sickness. So much vomiting. It’s baffling how not eating quickly enough would make me sick. I wanted what I wanted and when I didn’t get it that was it.

Foods I liked: peaches, mangos, frozen strawberry smoothies, juice, avocados (later I would live on avo smash), burgers, but sadly not steak. All the yoghurt.

Cute: My sister, Natalie, had me over and her and her partner fed me non-stop and tried to work out what I liked and what I didn’t so I could be less sick. I heard Nat whispering to Dave, ‘She doesn’t like the bread’, and then he took off to the servo to get plain white bread at like 10pm. I slept in their studio room and they stocked the bedside table with so many snacks so that I could get through a night ok. We discovered lollipops were handy.

Sucky: Going to hospital with a migraine. Migraine during bestie’s birthday getaway. Migraine during belated post-covid Christmas. Not being able to take medication made it hard BUTTTT I only got those three when I would usually get 12 over the course of 9 months. So now I see just how hormone-related migraines can be.

Covid love: When we got covid Mum, mummy-in-law, Tee and Dad dropped food off when Dan and I couldn’t leave the house. Tee gave us a whole trifle. Everyone was super concerned about the baby, which was somewhere between sweet and overbearing, but I knew she was doing ok.

Eating highlight: Mum made me pumpkin soup and it was so soothing. Smashed it with white, buttery bread rolls. I was absolutely loving life that day, even with covid.

Lifestyle: Dan and I ordered a new mattress but until we recovered from covid, it lived in the living room and I could lie down, eat and watch Netflix all day. I still wish we had a mattress floor!

Dan realised there is a whole new level to looking after a human. I’m usually very independent, but because of the sickness, he had to do so much for me- mostly getting me food in a hurry. Dad-prep.

Sweet: Seeing baby’s heartbeat for the first time made us both teary. I tried to keep it together, and tried to not let myself be too excited, but there was no denying how real it all was.

Unknown territory: boobs

I had a touch of sciatica & was getting physio for a while, but it passed. I did most of my exercising at home.  

Sleep started becoming elusive (I had no idea it would get so much worse!). Darling Tee brought me cooling packs, a sleep pillow and other goodies that made me far more comfortable and feel so loved!

Second trimester

As everyone says, this stage was a breeze. My energy levels were great and body felt really good.

I did a lot of batch-writing, digital declutters, worked on a course and other Modern Woman Nesting that I wrote about in my blog.

We had the best gender reveal feat. Olly who announced the pregnancy clad in a pink bow. My sisters made me a lovely cake for the occasion & I was lucky enough to have Anne there making it extra special too. Nat’s partner found out the gender while our eyes were closed during the scan and he said ‘Whoa’, so naturally I assumed he saw a big penis. Turns out it was just an arm!

I started getting all the hand-me-downs and having to move my dresses to make way for baby dresses. I was happy that my mum circle could offload to me, but goodness there is so much stuff!

My diet went back to the usual pre-baby foods, except I ate way more fruit, stuck with regular milk and didn’t like my greens as much. I did want meat filo pastry rolls with Greek yoghurt every day.

I adored the growing & started to feel ‘boops’ when she would kick or hiccup. This is how she got her nickname ‘Boopy’.

I generally felt muy sexy, especially with all the extra curves.

Dan and I went on a little babymoon to Dubbo cos I’ve always had the urge to travel west. We mostly ate delicious food, including the best Indian, which gave me my first heartburn! We got a few shots for my song, Killed a Man, and Dan took many non-pg pregnant body pics that are so cute but not shareable!

Third trimester

I’m still in the third trimester as I write this. The inner dialogue is mostly ‘Give me all the spaghetti bolognaise. And if you eat the left-overs, I’ll cry.’ We discovered a particular pasta sauce that is to die for, but also Dan’s bolognaise has always been outstanding!

I love carbs and often think about Rice Bubbles.

I’ve been crying so much more this trimester. It can be crying with love or with sadness (spurred on by intrusive thoughts and questions like ‘Why can’t my dog live forever?’.

I’m getting very little sleep for a few reasons. I try to doze to Jake Gyllenhaal reading The Great Gatsby every night, because his voice is nice.

Olly has become extra needy (could just be winter cuddles he wants), but he is also opting to sit on my belly, even when his favourite lounge arms are available.

I’ve become extremely clumsy. Every day I drop or spill something. My brain is so switched on when it comes to coaching and writing, but I have allowed Dan to mansplain a few things to me when I forget how to adult.

There’s been lots of baby movement and little pointy parts poking out. There have been more sharp pains down low now her head is down.

I relented and got the 3D scan that I thought was excessive and unnecessary, but I’m so glad I did. Our daughter is adorable & looks like her daddy. My sisters & Dan were there for the scan and we were all teary-eyed and in awe of her big lips and chubby cheeks.

As per my nesting schedule, I recorded a new song, had a writing sesh with a fave producer from LA and released Killed a Man, which is so weird to share when I’m in the midst of creating life!

Lately, I’ve been struggling to do anything. Last week I finished up work with VIP clients and I’m relieved I didn’t book anything for this week. Even writing is hard cos there are no comfy positions, and when I’m on my side, I have to type one-handed.

Been doing a fair bit of house-nesting, but losing momentum because it feels like time to rest, and walking hurts.

There has been increased Googling.

Moaning, groaning & waddling.

Needing to pee and then needing to do an after-pee.

I had a conversation with Dan to tell him I am increasingly incapable of normal human/ Bec-level accomplishment. He is very understanding, but it’s still hard for me to do so little.

My friend, Bianca, came over for an intensive clean after she calls me mid-cry in morning cleaning overwhelm. Oven is now sparkling.

I’m prescribed a new iron supplement (iron is still low) but no infusion is needed because my haemoglobin levels are good. Yay!

Dan took a few maternity photos as back-ups that will end up being the real thing.

I joined a fb group for July babies cos I’m ready to learn things. Mums are truly amazing. Many are way more into nursery decoration and freezer meals than I am, but I’m doing other thing like planning cover art.

I saw a gig with sis and enjoyed dancing to live music, perhaps for the last time in a little while. Was so close to not going, but so happy we did and I got to meet artists I look up to.

I had an emotional send-off at work, with a special handmade card I will treasure forever. I can’t wait to visit with the baby we’ve been talking about for so long!

I’ve had Braxton hicks contractions which are pretty mild and mostly feel like the need to poo.

We had a relaxed little baby brunch with surprise balloons & a beautiful cake made by my sister. This was another thing I didn’t want to do, because I don’t like fuss, but had a lovely time.

I expressed colostrum for the first time. I need three hands!

After the baby brunch, helping mum pack up the family home and doing the ‘milking’, I had a really painful cramp/contraction that night. It’s made me scared to go through labour, because I know it will be even more intense than that.

Saw Elvis in cinema with Tee and Ken. So glad I got a friend date in so close to due. Ken made it abundantly clear he is not perturbed by nappy changing. I’m so lucky to have willing babysitters and the best friends.

I’ve continued my modern woman nesting, with close attention to finances.

I’ve been snuggling with a soft bunny toy for the baby, so it smells like me.

Dan is so, so sick. This means the list of daddy nesting jobs all have to wait.

I am now really not sleeping and have pulled hip, lower tummy muscles.

My sister came over and helped with cleaning and expressing colostrum. The way she manoeuvres a syringe is some expert shit. I do a bit more in the morning and Dan gives me a new syringe holding technique.

I was told to have a stretch and sweep for no good reason at 39 weeks and a few days. I rejected it. (Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences.) If it induces labour I’d prefer a healthy hubby & I prefer to see the natural course of events anyway.

I wrote a list of what will happen before baby comes… Basically it’s a sequence that brings me peace & includes more cleaning, the convenience of Dan being healthy & bestie and sister being in Sydney.

I’ve repacked hospital bags and added to the go-time list.

I said goodbye to the family home three days before the due date and loved being with my mum and sister (my fave mummies) in that house one last time.

I made a few padsicles!

Had some cramping, got the ‘bloody show’ and the cervix seal came out.

I put my courses on sale the night things intensified.

And this brings me to right now. Patiently waiting. Riding the contraction waves.

Thank you for sharing in the journey!

Follow me at beckyxshortt for more personal updates and to see when baby comes!

xxx