I was afraid of my own house.

Every morning I would flee out the door as soon as I possibly could. Not because of the allure of the outdoors, or pressing matters to attend to, but because I actually could not stand being home.

There was nowhere to sit. Nowhere to peacefully eat. Nowhere to write.

Or so I thought.

Now, of course there were plump cushions on available leather seats on which I could rest my tush. At least four tables or desks to plonk my laptop and type away. And pretty things everywhere to inspire me. But there was no room for me.

I had too much stuff. Too much mess. Too much clutter, even in my head. I still do, but this post is really about a journey, not an accomplishment. But oh, how good things are feeling already!

Here is an ancient relic I found in a box in a cupboard in the office. I wanted to keep this so badly, out of curiosity and nostalgia, that I tried charging it in my car. It made no sense to keep it, but thinking about the memories of my first love and life back with my parents, it took a lot of resolve to throw this one in the bin.

When you live with another person, the home becomes filled with their stuff as well as your own. In my house, though, I am the main culprit- at least it is more productive for me to think this way!

When I started this process of decluttering the thought of it felt better than actually doing it. For one, it is kinda daunting. I can be super motivated, so I like to do everything well and preferably at once, but such a feat is not attainable in the case of cleaning and decluttering my home.

And it was painful. The stuff I have had to look at, process, and decide whether they bring me joy or good use hold too many limiting emotions. Rather I had too many limiting emotions, but stuff can bring up your stuff.

I just want to acknowledge a few things that felt a little painful, even when I tried to be stone cold about them.

Going through the nitty gritty in the office. This was the most guilt-inducing, cos this is where all my old projects reside. Time to move on.

Just some of the contents on the top shelf of the guest and 'music' room! This can't be good for the acoustics!

•   I have run several workshops I have some handwritten testimonials and excess resources that I had kept. It was a promise that I might use some of the stuff again, but also a reminder that 2016 was the first year I had not run a group workshop of any kind. I know that I always completely remake my resources anyway, so I threw most of it out, but not before that slight twinge of regret for not doing more. Lesson: My mind is my greatest resource.
•  I have costumes, cables and instruments from old bands and music projects that didn’t work out at all. I know that where I am musically is where I need to be, but there is still an attachment to other collaborations, especially ones that cost a lot of money. Giving away my tutu from the Something Blue clip was a little sad (even though I feel way beyond this!). Lesson: There is always something even better waiting for me.
• Getting rid of clothes is difficult for me, because most stuff I don’t wear, I don’t wear because I don’t go out to enough events that warrant dressing up. So giving away some of my dresses represented my severe lack of a glamorous social life! I also have a lot of clothes my family love and think are adorable on me, so giving these away made me feel sad for my mum, even though she doesn’t know about it! Lesson: Don’t idealise a lifestyle that doesn’t necessarily align with where or who I am right now.
• I felt like a thief because in the midst of decluttering, I found stuff that I had borrowed but never returned. Things I had lost for years. And things I ignored for years. Like books I have been leant and clothing I had borrowed to keep me warm. Lesson: Don’t make promises I don’t intend to keep. Say no more often.
•  I gave away and threw out gifts that may or may not have been chosen especially for me and with love. I know that there is love between me and that giving person, whether or not I keep all their presents, but this gave me a surge of guilt. Lesson: Be a better friend.
•  I have so many journals, scrap bits of paper and lists filled with brilliant ideas that either I have never done OR seem so outdated that I am embarrassed to read them. Some of these drafts I send out publicly so they made me cringe. Lesson: I am always growing.

 The amount of money I have spent on stuff absolutely blows my mind. From top of the line skin and hair products, to clothes, ornaments, contraptions- it’s just endless. There is nothing really wrong with this, but I am going to adjust my buying strategy. And since decluttering, I have found I have got way more use out of what I do have.

Above all, most of what I found made me think I have to get my shit together. And it was really inspiring to see how stuff can completely dominate our lifestyle. Discovering things I have never seen nor cared about felt like discovering dark secrets, and when they didn’t feel good they were like black spots on the soul of my house. A touch of melodrama.

So in the process of decluttering there has been some immense joy!

1.       Seeing people excited to receive the clothes and jewellery I don’t wear.

2.       A cleaner house and fresher air.

3.       Mental and physical space has seemed to open up and I am far more in sync with what I am meant to be doing.

4.       A real sense of possibility.

I’m excited for what is next now that I am committed to decluttering over the next year. That’s right, taking the pressure off by giving myself a year to get it all done. It is work, but it is energising every step of the way.

The Advice

Here are some tips for going through your own house.

First of all you would want to read or learn about the Konmari method, which is really useful and has the most practical and holistic advice on the process. Then you can apply the following to make the decluttering even more cathartic. This worked for me, but I would say it is a little more confronting than the Konmari method- rather it faces difficult aspects head on. You can just as easily have a single affirmation like ‘I don’t need stuff to make me happy’ and cull away. But this is some advice based on how I approached it.

Really focus on each item by looking at it, picking it up and for the more sentimental stuff, sitting with it for a tad. That way you can gauge how you feel about it. If you somehow feel bad, ask why. If there is an opportunity to be grateful for the item or the moment it represents, go ahead and do that. Immediately seek a lesson from it, or a positive affirmation so that you can keep the learnings and move on from something you may or may not need. Usually if something makes you feel bad, it’s not worth holding onto. Occasionally it may reinvigorate you to use and enjoy the item if you feel bad for not using it, but want to make it a core part of your life from now on. Your past behaviour is typically a good indicator of the future, however, after mindfully going through this process, you could be a whole different person!

And if you live with someone who also has a lot of stuff, I can say now from experience that seeing the space open up just from passing on your stuff makes a huge difference. It also does inspire the other person to be more realistic about what they are holding onto. In the space of a couple of days, I saw my hubby go from caring about a CD rack to being totally ready to give it away. I asked him about keeping model cars about 3 years ago and his response was ‘They’re mine’. But now he wants to give them away. Trust that you taking care of things from your end will make a big difference.

“When we clear the physical clutter from our lives, we literally make way for inspiration and ‘good, orderly direction’ to enter. ”

— Julia Cameron

Some final thoughts.

I started this because I wanted my home to be a sanctuary, not a place I dread being in! I also did it based on the principle of letting stuff go so that more goodness can come in. I have a tendency to feel full to the point of overwhelm so this is a nice mental trick that encourages me to be and do more- not ‘have’ more.

I am in a fairly conservative Phase One of all of this. It has been time consuming and I have the luxury of a break from work where I can do this without too many pressing or urgent tasks arising. It will truly take about a year to do this well.

Your turn.

If you would like to join me on this Phase One and be rid of stuff that no longer makes you feel good or (almost literally) skeletons in the closet, please leave a comment about what you will be decluttering. Share any insights and feelings that arise along the way.

Oh, and I’m also interested to know about weird things you find!

Let's create more space to LIVE!

Love Becky

xxx

I never really thought about death as a child. All I knew is that I wanted to make a positive impact on the world. I used to articulate it this way, when I was only 9;

‘I’m either gonna be famous, or have kids. Either way, I am leaving my mark on the world.’

I can’t decide if this is silly or not.  

Today I did the Coogee to Bondi coastal walk. Amid the trek, the path winds between the graves of those buried at Waverly Cemetery. I didn’t know at the time, but the tombs of writers, Henry Lawson and Dorothy Mackellar, were among the burial ground. I was mostly fixated on the grandeur of the memorials and headstones. Every so often, my friend and I would stop to read about who had died. One boy had died at 9 and so, it seemed, had his sister, both perhaps before their parents. One family had a vault for all their bodies, something arranged and decided upon long ago. It probably cost a lot of money. Between the angel statues and marble carvings, I honestly wondered for a fleeting moment, whether the ostentatiousness of the memorials gave the lives more significance. I, after all, was stopping to acknowledge the death of strangers. Is there immortality in that?

My friend reminded me that the large tributes are for the living, not the dead. That it gives us a sense of a life being truly recognised- to make grieving families feel better, but it does nothing for the deceased. Again, the fleeting, but painfully narcissistic question made itself known. Could we (read ‘I’) literally just buy a huge memorial that forces people to take a moment to remember a life? Does it give a person greater importance? Is it making a mark?

I’ve been having an existential crisis for about a year now. I think about life and death all the time, but not always in productive ways. As always, my circular thoughts pause at the idea that ‘The meaning of life is to give life meaning’. But, as someone uncertain about the afterlife, (although hoping that someday I literally have a burst of positive juju that clings to the nearest living human when I am gone) I have come to attach all my worth on the significance I have. This is why I strive to make a positive impact. Plus, it feels good to create good, and it basically seems like who I am.  

So back to the cemetery. I worked out pretty quickly that human life is not valued by the size of a headstone. All human life is beautiful, valuable and a gift in one way or another. Even when people do not ‘do good’, life is still precious.

Again, absent of any strong convictions about the afterlife, I resolve to ‘give life meaning’ (there’s that thought again!) in three clear ways. I don’t know if I will do all of these, but I know that even trying will spread a tiny bit of love that will get passed on and on so that the little threads of love stretch across the world. And that is enough.

1.       I want to help people enjoy their life, their gifts and their uniqueness by teaching them how to talk to themselves. When people feel fulfilled, they are kinder. I truly believe that. And with more love and kindness, the world can heal.

2.       I would like to have a kid or two someday. Another avenue to pass down pure love plus all the other reasons people normally want children.

3.       I would like to write a song that really connects with people that can give them strength or hope in their lifetime. Something good enough to be covered by lots of people. There, I said it.

And honestly, I feel like I have already had an amazing experience of life. To some degree I am doing what feels like my purpose which is to soulfully empower and heal others. And I am always looking to have even more of a positive impact until I am at complete peace with the crazy, amazing thing called life.

I would, right now, more than anything, love for you to share the legacy you would like to leave. What will your name represent? What will you set in motion that could stand the test of time? What would you leave behind if you were to leave now? This may feel uncomfortable, but it will sure help you fast track to what you are meant to be doing!

Please share with me your insights in the comments or get in touch if you need extra support through this process.

You are pure love.

Xxx

Becky

I wish I was impervious to stress. It is a biological response, usually stemming from the need to adapt to pressure situations. Our body reacts accordingly, releasing hormones and setting off a chain of responses within us.

But often stress can turn into anxiety, overwhelm and sickness, clouding our thinking and impacting our sense of well-being, even when we are generally happy.

I want to dedicate some space to coping with stress because I know it affects most people. I have collated over ten ways we can use actions and ways of thinking to reduce the impact of stress on our lives.

Even the highest stress periods of your life do not have to be disasters.

The next series of posts will be about managing stress. Hopefully, even if you are feeling well-balanced lately it can still help you enjoy your life even more.

Dealing with Stress Part 1

To borrow from the Apple slogan… Think different.

This is genius. So much of what we accept in our day to day lives does not have to be this way. There are systems in every job and in your home life that are not working for you that you are accepting as the norm. What’s more, you may be accepting the stress of a situation as being normal. You probably brace yourself and hope you don’t implode. When the voice in my head is in freefall and my ‘highest self’ is lost I have said things like ‘I am dreading today’ and when asked how I’m feeling, I’ve jokingly responded with ‘suicidal’. This is not the person I need to be, especially when dealing with young people on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, when under stress, I want to claim I work with unreasonable deadlines, ebb towards doing things when only they have to be done, make excuses, suffer in silence and generally notice and talk about the negative.

This is why I have developed better systems that work for me, even within the framework of my vocation expectations. Read the section below if you are interested in how I cheated my way out of the most stressful period of a teacher’s year.

Report time seems to be worse than the bane of existence to most teachers. It results in a lack of sleep, irritability and unnecessary resentment. Teachers can sometimes do a less than ideal job as we are under the pump. For me, report writing is my pride and joy. Other teachers look at my reports for ideas and as a sample of how to write more personalised and helpful feedback for students. Here is how I can hold my head high during this time period:

·       Instead of waiting for the reporting period to begin, I start early. Like a whole term early! If I pay attention, I can learn plenty about students in the first few weeks of a semester and begin putting comments together on a Word document. I can always add a sentence or two once I have extra data. Then, the process is about getting to know my students rather than just churning out drivel.

·       I prophesise instead of report. Especially for the second semester, I consider what the student cannot do and what I am committed to teaching them. Then, when I write their report, stating the improvements they have made, I am pledging to myself that I will help them in this area. Of course I can make adjustments if necessary, but the point is, I have a solid basis from which to begin.

·       I have the mindset that I love writing reports. It is a chance to show I care and to communicate meaningfully with parents.

Some strategy and a positive outlook goes a long way. I am still looking at ways to make assessment periods more manageable (less stress for me and more autonomy from students is the goal!), which involves shifting the culture I work within, but I know that with a bit of planning this will change too.

My question to you… (reply to this if you like!)

What in-built systems can you flip through your own approach and mindset? What can you execute with pride or learn to love if you take the pressure off?

Could you:

·       Do the bulk of your work at the most productive part of the day for you?

·       Begin early, reuse, recycle, delegate, outsource, etc?

·       Do the same job in batches (like responding to emails)?

·       Set up a template or automate?

·       Make your area of expertise?

·       Do while you’re having a bath or listen to while you’re at the gym?

Let me know any brainwaves you have that could dramatically decrease stress and create a more fun approach to something tedious or unavoidable. You can work towards loving and enjoying most parts of your work. It involves some real creative thinking and flipping a lot of what you know on its head.

Do the work.

Dealing with Stress Part Two: 

Know Your Baseline Health and Happiness Go-Tos… And actually go to them!

When most people are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, they let even little important things dwindle. Like hydration, healthy eating, relaxation and those interests that work wonders on our sense of wellbeing. Even talking to other people becomes less important.

Think about the last time you felt a bit off. Were you eating properly, drinking water and uncompromising about bedtime?

Look after yourself! Zero room for negotiation here.

Give your mind, body and spirit some massive love. The more stressed you feel, the more you need to slow down and take care of you.

Even if you think there are more important things to deal with.

Even if you are on a deadline.

Even if you feel pressure from yourself or others.

Always, always treat yourself well.

I have had some seriously messed up days, where stress, anxiety, tears and an impending sense of doom hit me at once. I have even woken up with this feeling. But if I go to one karate class, suddenly I break out of the pattern and can get more done, with less worry. It does not feel entirely natural to do something so good for yourself when you are going 100 miles an hour or feeling depressed or overwhelmed. It can be easy to get stuck in patterns of thinking and behaving.

But change is still super easy and I believe you can act your way into feeling better.

This week (and forever), please be disciplined when it comes to looking after yourself. Don’t neglect fun and leisure and tune in to what your body needs to stay healthy.

What do you need to do to show yourself that no matter what, you value and respect yourself?

Click here to see the list I use to remind myself of what looking after myself actually involves. It is a Word Doc, so you can add to this, edit, replace, tweak and print. No matter what, do what you need to do! These are basics for me- I don’t even have meditation per se on the list, or sex for that matter because they are not the baselines that keep me in check. Have a play with this and feel free to send it my way. I am curious about what you need.

How is this working out for you? Do you notice that during times of stress the simplest healthy practices start to dwindle? What little things make the biggest difference to your sense of wellbeing? 

Share your insights in the comments below and share with anyone who could show themselves a little more love during tough times.

Your mission is to take care of you!!!

All my love,

Becky

When I was in Kindergarten, I watched the fairy tale, The Ugly Duckling. I sat with 60 other kids on the floor of the classroom, and was completely moved by the story. I didn’t relate to the ugly duckling- not really. At that age, I had always stood out for reasons I perceived to be positive- like having little curls or writing stories.

Before the movie had ended, me and a boy in my class were absolutely bawling our eyes out crying. There were two teachers in the room. One, my incredibly sweet teacher, and another- the teacher we were all afraid of! My teacher, Miss Owen, gave the boy a hug and some tissues and reassurance, just through her caring presence. The other teacher told me to stop crying and wash my face. It was the first time a teacher spoke to me like they were angry at me.

That was the first experience I recall when it was obvious I felt things with a certain intensity that others didn’t. It was also the first time I saw two approaches to sensitive people. One is to be dismissive- that ‘harden up’ mentality. The other is to allow it to be, to nurture it and validate it. We were only in Kindergarten, so this fantasy probably seems impossible to my Primary teacher friends, but wouldn’t it be lovely to stop the film and ask, ‘Why does this make some people feel so bad, seeing the Ugly Duckling being left out?’. What an important conversation that could start. If any such discussion took place, I was probably so hurt and angry at being ‘yelled at’ that I wouldn’t have processed it. That can happen when you’re sensitive.

These days people use the word ‘empath’ as a bit of a sexy term to describe people who just get how another person is thinking or feeling in a given moment. But for now I just want to give a shout out to that broader category- sensitivity.

I haven’t had to do any guesswork around whether I am sensitive. People just tell me. And I have worked it out for myself. Mostly because I cry for other people unless I’m helping them deal with it. Because I eventually have to escape loud places. Because the news has the potential to bum me out for weeks. Because I avoid saying goodbyes. Because sometimes I just hop into bed and close my eyes, hoping for sleep, but content with an hour of zero stimulation.

But here is where it is the coolest to be sensitive.

You can feel the love in any room.

This is what makes me more productive. In a karate class I get hit with these huge waves of affection, combined with the sense of other people’s ambitions, the mental fight they are winning in that moment and the respect and love exuded for each other and our instructor. This connection through little jolts of energy help me stay energised.

 You can ‘get’ other people and respond in a way where they feel understood. That’s why people are drawn to you.

Occasionally I guide people use the stories of their past as a way of gaining a better understanding of themselves and their present. Going ‘by feel’ (which could literally mean feeling their pain in moments) helps us navigate when important insights reside. When students and clients have ‘breakthrough moments’ I understand the significance because the tears will well up a little in my eyes. It brings the world a little closer when we feel understood.

You feel connected, even when you feel alone.

I think this sums up the above. This connection gives you greater purpose. Whilst it can be overwhelming at times, for me it reminds me that we all have an important role to play in each other’s lives. We all have the power to heal each other, in a moment.

The world is a vibrant, stimulating place- where adventures and miracles are everywhere.

Sensitivity is fun. You can go outside and just be blown away by the beauty of nature, when you look at a leaf or a bug, not just a mountain. You can save lives in seconds, by reaching out to someone who seems to be a little different- energetically. You can express yourself more freely, in the understanding that the more real you are, the more you strike a chord with someone else. You see poetry everywhere. The grand contrast between light and dark that leads to a gratitude for it all.

Sensitive souls, if this is you reading this, I invite you to see your sensitivity as your strength. There are ways to take care of yourself that we can talk about further. In the meantime, share what sensitivity means to you and how it has shaped your life and your impact.

Lots of love,

Becky

You always have a choice.

To me, feeling trapped is the worst possible sensation. Its cousins, 'obligation' and 'commitment' also make me claustrophobic- and this is from a girl who loves squashing into cosy small places.

Perhaps in your life you feel like you are locked in. Like you have signed an invisible contract to people, places and routines that feel less than liberating.

I want to remind you that you always have a choice. And there is probably a darn good reason why you are choosing the life you live.

Why do I choose this?

This is a driving question that will have you feeling better or at least clearer about why you are where you are. Why do you choose this vocation over every other possibility? Frame it positively if you can.

·       I choose this HR role because I have a gift with people and love to see the impact I have on the culture of my company.

·       I choose to have my own business because working at my own pace feels healthy and natural for me.

·       I choose to work in this highly physical job because I love the outdoors and have endless energy to expel.

Hold in your consciousness that you do not need to do today what you did yesterday. So why do you do it? Money? Connections? Comfort? Challenge?

And if you are stuck for answers, maybe it’s time for a change. What else could you choose?

For a little decision making booster, think about whether being where you are facilitates you being the best version of you. Does it bring you closer to your goals? Does it make you happy? What would it mean to not choose it? Is there an alternative that energises you?

Knowing that you ultimately get to choose how you live is so empowering. If you love it then you can appreciate it. If you no longer want it, you can take steps to make a change.

For me, I choose to bite off just a little more than I can chew because everything tastes so good. I choose work with intensive ‘after hours’ because it is worth it for the immense joy I feel seeing young people learn to learn. I choose to pay for a cleaner so I can create space for music, and pay for a recording studio to make sure I get shit done. I choose my husband because of his big heart and strong character.

I know that I always have a choice.

And so do you.

Let’s choose wisely.

Love for days…

Becky

I discovered a new favourite process.

The language of ‘thinking big’ has become part of the modern vernacular. Typo drink bottles tell us to ‘Never give up on your daydream’ and it is being reinforced in education that the youth of today can do or be anything they want. Vision boarding has become a yearly ritual for those who hope to see the Law of Attraction manifest yachts, mansions and Jaguars, and 5 minutes of fame- or longer- is on the cards for anyone who is social media savvy.

But really allowing ourselves to have big dreams, grounded in achievements or experiences does not come naturally. And whilst we could run off a list of things that would be nice, we rarely allow ourselves to fathom these coming to fruition.

Probably because it is uncomfortable.

Probably because it triggers so many of our underlying beliefs about ourselves and the world.

So, as a personal experiment, not in just setting big goals and working towards them, but rather as a way to elicit underlying feelings, I went through the process you will read about below. It seems run of the mill, in terms of the list of ridiculously huge goals (to my mind anyway), but it fast tracked one of the most important steps in personal growth, which is identifying underlying limiting beliefs. Fortunately, because of my practice and love of a good ol’ reframe, I was able to turn these beliefs into really important and useful questions and affirmations. It is so illuminating and really fun, though at times confronting.

What I adore about this process is the way it fast-tracked the finding and zapping away of what has been holding me back. When we try to work out any ‘issues’ or ‘mental blocks’ in our day to day, often we are too close to the issue or it may feel petty or insignificant, so we keep repeating the same patterns. The negative beliefs are insidious and maybe so subtly present that we never find a reason to work on them. They grate away and result in us not fully showing up with confidence. I would love it if you have a go at doing this process. You just need a pen and two pieces of paper. I used a two page spread of a notebook.

Instructions to find out what is holding you back EVERYWHERE IN LIFE!!

STEP ONE

On one page, write the biggest, craziest dreams, fantasies, wishes that would seem outrageous to you.

It may say things like:

• Have a best-selling novel that is made into a film.

• Live in a mansion with an indoor pool.

• Be best friends with Amy Schumer (Jennifer Lawrence can get stuffed!)

And so on.

STEP TWO (I skipped writing this step and went straight to step three)

For each of the fantasies you write, consider what is stopping you from having them. Keep asking yourself why not until you get to a root belief or problem that would majorly impinge upon you fulfilling these. Remember, this does not mean these dreams are your most important goals. They are meant to be wildly huge to you so you can work out what is keeping you from the next level.

Make a list of any of the issues that came up for you. It may be that you think you ‘aren’t good with people’ or ‘have no time’ or ‘need to be prettier’.

STEP THREE

On the second page, reframe the negative beliefs into empowering statements that show you how

1. You are already in the process of overcoming what is holding you back.

2. The issue is a non-issue.

3. You are able to shift this belief.

You make have a list that says:

• People from all walks of life can get rich.

• I am my own kind of genius.

• I have many rewarding relationships with ‘people’.

THE RESULT

Now you have a bank of statements that really support you and address the beliefs that hold you back more than any other. Whether you need to make a new friend or network like a machine, if it is hard for you, the issue will be the same. Use these statements as daily affirmations. They are what you really need to hear right now!

You may end up with a page like this.

See me doing the process on myself as an example in this video.

It can be hard to go through this process alone if you aren’t used to asking why, and why, and why, and why! If you need help with this or any of the stubborn beliefs that pop up, find out how we can work together so I can support you through some big life changes.

Remember, the same limiting beliefs or blockages will come up when you go for little wins or huge goals. It is always worth getting to the icky bottom of these, shaking them up, flushing them out and replacing them with something new and beautiful that will serve you.

Shaking things up with love,

Becky

Here are 7 ways you can generate a sense of faith and belief in yourself and in positive outcomes. There is no substitute for just simply believing, but if that feels too crazy as a starting point, these will get you there!

1. Write up a backlog of times things have worked out.

You have a rich history. You have likely been through some insanely tough times that have tested you. You have accomplished small and larger feats, sometimes deliberately, sometimes by the accumulation of hard work. What just came to mind? Everything you have achieved arrived at the perfect time, allowing you to learn and grow. To build up some faith in positive outcomes and your ability, list everything you have managed to do through determination or nature. Humanity, like the environment, is made to progress. Somehow you ended up talking, walking, thinking and feeling through the inherent system of growth hardwired into our world. If you are alive, learning and have overcome any adversity, you should understand, logically, that things do work out for you. A little closer to believing? 

2. Notice the in-the-moment feeling of believing versus not believing. Wouldn't you rather your experience of each moment carry that positive energy? 

So this is more like a reason to believe rather than doubt. Consider this very moment. I want you to imagine that tomorrow, one of your wildest dreams will come true. Can you picture it? Maybe you are meeting a celebrity, closed the biggest deal of your life or won a holiday with your family. Notice the energy that thought creates in that moment of imagination. Isn't it wonderfully invigorating? Why then, would you not choose to experience faith in the moment. We know that great things happen when we believe. That's why you have bothered to read this far, right? So choose belief in the moment, every moment.

3. Read some crazy 'unlikely' success stories.

If you get stuck in the mindset that you are too 'something' (plain, poor, rough, etc), to be successful, it is time to do some research and discover people who have done what you want to do, even if it took a while. Look for people who remind you of you. They may have had the same perceived challenges, grown up in your hometown, begun their career at a similar age to you, or initially were kinda bummed out about life. When you find these people, there will be proof that really, somebody a little like you (cos nobody is just like you!) can have the thing you want. It makes perfect sense that this is possible for you too.

To dip your foot into these unlikely success stories, you can check out 6 who overcame failure through persistence. Also, some rags to riches stories are inspiring reminders that belief through a sense of purpose and determination can happen. Even Empress Catherine shows that a little self confidence goes a long way.

Believe!

4. Do what it takes. If you don't feel deserving it is hard to believe.

This one makes a profound difference. If you are not doing everything it takes to achieve success in your field and to develop yourself as a person, there may be a feeling of 'lesser worth' that is subconscious holding you back. In other words, you feel like you haven't done the work to earn the success and because you feel like you don't deserve it, you just won't get it. Sometimes, we punish ourselves and other times, we have such a deepset sense of integrity that we won't allow ourselves to succeed until we think we 'measure up'. One way to add some power to the punch of profound faith is to act in a way that aligns with our goals. If you want a promotion, do high quality work and don't moan about your job. If you want to get back to your pre-baby bod, eat and exercise like the version of you that would be that size. This is all too logical. Write down a few ways you could align your behaviour with what you want! Let's get the ball rolling.

5. Listen to the good guy.

Or the good girl. Whichever voice inside your head or the little tug in your gut or the flutter in your heart, that tells you that you were meant for this. Everything in life serves some purpose, right? Wasn't that positive voice of belief put there for a reason? If you have it, trust it. Listen to it. Nurture it. 

Need some more logic around this? You know how when you were little, you had to defer to your parents? Hopefully they had your best interests at heart. Our parents keep us safe. Sometimes, as teenagers, we had to say 'No, I'm not allowed. My parents won't let.' Now imagine that positive voice or feeling inside of you is the adult guide that really, really, really knows whats best. It can be called intuition, the higher self, god, whatever. That voice know you so intimately, so when it tells you that something awesome is possible, listen and respond. And to any naysaying voices that disagree- ask them whether they have your 'bestest' interests at heart. Or just tell them politely to piss off.

6. Track magic.

Hahahaha! Yes, I have written 'magic' in an article that stresses the 'logic' of having faith. But let's take a logical approach to it. Today, or any day really, ask yourself where magic appears.  Pay attention and you'll realise how many things are so mind-blowing that it wouldn't even be reasonable to think that magical things can't happen to you. Some may call it science, but to me there is nothing more miraculous than that.

Remember happy co-incidences. People you have met who changed your life. Accidents that led you to an amazing experience. Heart ache that helped you find real love. 

Magic makes sense.

7. Get it into your head, dammit!

Or your subconscious more like it. Most of our behaviours and go-to though processes and self-speak are directed by our 'unconscious' thinking. This stems from our life experience and that which is consistently reinforced. If you want to have more faith, then respond with logic and allow yourself to act in your best interest. To do this, get that believe into the recesses of your mind through regular affirmations, like 'I am capable and worthy', that you write down and say to yourself every day, and often. In time, this will become your subconscious belief. You can also visualise your version of success and experience it as though it is real, heightening every sense in your mind until it could be a real memory. The more relaxed you are when you do this, the better. Notice how you begin to act in accordance with the images and words you reinforce to yourself.

It is a good time to WRAP UP with this final note. Like anything in life, it does take action, bother and effort to bring dreams into fruition, so you really must implement one or more of these faith-generating strategies to see results. And consistently. There is nothing that could be more logically resonant than that!

Of course, there are other ways to have faith and belief! Would love you to share some of your own methods. For me, that feeling of faith is pretty constant and only occasionally shaken up, but I can get back to that wavelength quickly. How do you rein in your attitude or belief?

With utmost belief in me and you,

Becky

Every now and then I have a thought I need to shake outta my mind. This same thought deeply affects many people and sometimes the belief runs too deep for ‘shaking out’ to seem possible.

‘There is something wrong with me’.

Maybe that thought is articulated in a different way.

 I don’t know what is wrong with me.

Why am I so f*cked up?

I am alone.

Nobody gets me.

I have spoken to enough people to know that this thought hits everyone at some point. It can be alienating, giving us the sense that there is nobody who understands, relates or has the same experience of self.

The trouble is that often the way we relate to others is not authentic. We have a veneer, and social media amplifies the issue, when we often see people happy or the thought articulated in their status is the final positive statement after much deliberation. We get trapped into thinking that life, happiness & beauty comes so easily to some people, but never to us. In the comparison (that often disempowering & dangerous comparison) that we are left thinking, ‘Something must be missing in me.’

We also taught from a young age to see the world in black and white, using oppositions to define what we are by what we are not. We speak in finites, to avoid complicated thoughts. We constantly use the language of judgment (and sometime self-righteousness). That is so wrong. I don’t do that. No wonder we use that language when we speak about ourselves. No wonder when we detect complexity in ourselves we want to attack. I’m a bad mum. I’m not smart enough. I’m not good enough. Perhaps it is lazy to think we are inherently flawed. When you admit imperfection, it’s like you can blame it for everything. It’s a way of avoiding what is really going on.

When you talk to others…

You may catch yourself explaining out of the ordinary (genius like!) thinking as being abnormal to placate others in the assumption that they don’t or won’t ‘get you’. I don’t know. It’s just how I see it. Maybe I’m weird. Or you don’t share.

We respond to paradigms of morality and avoid real conversation with dismissive comments like ‘She’s just a bitch’ or ‘He is a sleaze’. When we do this, it exacerbates the fear that any of our ‘flaws’ will be harshly judged by our peers. Suddenly, ‘There is something wrong with me’, becomes emotionally loaded and will start to limit how we show up in the world. We shrink because we think it isn’t safe to shine. We recoil, we put up walls and create ‘safe’ alter-egos because we are terrified to be ourselves.

‘There is something seriously wrong with me…’

Reframe this thought!

If you catch yourself thinking this way, have a go at a reframing this into something positive.

There is something unique I have to offer the world.

This quirky thing about me is my ticket to success.

I am a complex and interesting human being.

Every person has felt this way- I am connected with my fellow human.

And here are some of my favourite questions to help you get some meaningful answers.

What is really going on here? What underlying thoughts triggered this belief/action?

How does this feeling/thought keep me safe or comfortable? Does it serve me in any way?

What would I say to myself if I were my own best friend? Or what would I tell a good friend who told me they felt totally abnormal?

While human beings are essentially the same, our spirits have different energies, our auras different colours, our personality different flavours, varied experiences, gifts, challenges and views…

 and in our ‘hearts’ we have a different calling.

This year, I hope that you are more ‘you’ than ever. That you follow your heart and finally come home to the truth. Heart is where the home is.

That you are exactly as you are meant to be, with endless potential and a shiny light inside of you.

Come home to you.

You are not fucked up.

You are you.

The End.

We have become used to feeling bad. 

Sad, but true. People tolerate minor discomforts, ongoing pain and suffer mediocre circumstances that are so easy to turn around. It is also a reality that depression is rife in our society and the accumulative effects of feeling bad make us identify with being 'depressed'. We also have been told 'no pain, no gain' and to 'focus on the big picture' rather than the moment. 

I would like to share three ways you can feel good right now, so you can be conscious of how feeling good is a commitment and a choice.

1. What Feels Good?

Notice what feels good right now. What senses are engaged? What positive thoughts are popping up? What do you notice that feels nice?

It’s a lazy Saturday morning and I haven’t put any pressure on myself to do anything.

Having the entire bed to myself.

Knowing that I will have a cleaner on Monday.

Remembering the wonderful New Years adventure trip.

The birds chirping outside the window.

That feeling of hope.

It is meditative and a form of gratitude to observe lovingly the positive you find in the present moment. In the comments, share what you are noticing that feels right.

2. What Doesn’t Feel Good?

Now it’s time to consider what doesn’t feel good, with the intention of doing something about it. We suffer little discomforts that are unnecessary. Let’s do something about them!

The air is stuffy- so I am going to open windows.

I feel a little dehydrated- so I am getting water.

My neck is tense- so I am adjusting my position & scheduling a massage for this afternoon.

The fleeting thought that my website isn’t updated. There is no rush- I will put it in my diary for Monday.

Whenever you decide not to do something about these niggling sensations, you are choosing to feel bad. Maybe you have another priority, perhaps you cannot justify the trouble of changing, or maybe you have never known another way of living. Why do you choose to feel bad? You will gain some clarity once you answer this. Do share any revelations in the comments.

3. Align.

The third way you can feel good in the ‘now’ is to get clear on your life purpose, your goals and daily intention. When you know what it is you are working towards AND have faith that you will achieve this, even tedious or difficult moments take on a new meaning and start to feel good.

This year, think about what your grand purpose is and begin to align your day to day with this mission.

If this is an area you need some help with, drop me a line, and I will send you some further strategies and resources.

Otherwise, I would love you to share your mission statement, purpose or big goal for this year and beyond in the comments section.

Commit to feeling good.

Love Becky

‘Oh beware my lord of jealousy. ‘Tis the green-eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds on’

The temptation to refer to Othello was too strong to resist, but the manipulative words of the Shakespearean villain, Iago, were said to destroy a good man. My sweet take on jealousy is a sentiment that is being embraced all over the globe. And it works.

‘Oh there you are jealousy! You are the green-eyed fairy that comes to offer me the world!’

So ‘green fairy’ may vaguely sound like a reference to an alcoholic spirit, but the metaphor works for me. What if jealousy appeared to show us exactly what we want and what is possible for us?

While the simplicity of this concept is alluring (‘I’m feeling jealous. Oh, hey, I should do that!) we often get feelings of jealousy about things we actually don’t want or need. And yet, there is a lesson.

Example: If you become jealous of fame, ask.

Do I want this?

Why do I want this?

Where do I have this already?

What do I really want?

What steps can I take towards this?

 In the case of something like ‘fame’ you may discover that what is really making you jealous is your admiration of someone’s confidence, or bold pursuit of their dream. You may discover that you crave recognition, but you can feel appreciated at any time if you sit and recall some beautiful words spoken to you or the smiles you get every day. Perhaps you will finally conclude, ‘It is time’, and go for what you want with absolute gusto.

So here are some cool steps you can take to make jealousy your mentor.

Step One: Say hi to it.

Step Two: Work out what exactly is making you feel jealous.

Step Three: Pay someone a genuine compliment and ask them a meaningful question about how they have achieved ‘success’ (insert whatever quality you desire)

Step Four: Know that what they have is truly available to you. If someone can do/have it, so can you.

Step Five: Go for it! Respect that feeling and go for what it is that is making you a little green.

Step Six: Know that if your success makes someone else jealous, you are doing them a favour. Jealous today, inspired tomorrow.

Your turn.

Please share what discoveries you have made using the ‘Green-eyed Fairy’. It is so cathartic to talk about it openly. I will share the last time I was jealous if you share yours!!!

Love Becky!

xxx